There Doesn’t Have to be a Difference. It’s a Choice.

When you get remarried there is so much that goes into the mix of merging two different families together.  In my case, our children were practically grown and God blessed us with a smooth transition (for the most part).

One relationship particular that I want to share with everyone is about Emory and Jayden.  When Emory came into my life Jayden (my granddaughter) was only 14 months old.  She wasn’t sure of this big man with a deep and authoritative voice and didn’t really want that much to do with him.  We both knew it would take some time for her to become comfortable around him and didn’t put too much emphasis on it really.

At one point when she really started talking the question came up about what to call him.  I definitely was nervous about even having this conversation.  I knew I wanted him to feel the same way about her as I did, but at the same time I couldn’t force this relationship.  So we were talking about it and Emory told me that he wanted her to call him “Papa”.  I was absolutely elated!  Now we just had to tell my daughter Kristin and see how she felt about it.  The conversation went over well and Jayden has called him Papa ever since.

Over time, I have watched Emory totally fall in love with Jayden.  Her birthday was May 4th and she turned 4.  Well Jayden told us she wanted a swing for her birthday.  A neighbor of ours had an old one that needed some work and Emory spent over 4 hours sanding and painting that swing pink and white.  What an incredible sight to watch this man labor out in the boiling sun to make his granddaughter happy.

  He helped me decorate the entire living room in balloons and banners.  We went outside and decorated our fence with balloons so when she topped the hill of the dirt road, she could see the balloons flying everywhere. Emory never said one word about all the “trouble” we spent preparing for her party.  He actually even ordered her princess cake and had them put a tiara and wand on the cake. (And all the women said “awwwww”).

After she arrived, everyone was eating and Jayden had not seen her swing yet.  I watched him walk over to her and bend down to whisper in her ear.  She jumped in his arms and gave him a big hug and they quietly went out the front door.  He was taking her to that swing.  I knew this was going to be a special moment and waited about 30 minutes or so before I joined them. As I turned the corner, you could hear her talking to him and he looked up and just gave me a smile.

Are they related?  Yes.  Jayden is Emory’s granddaughter and no one else would ever be able to tell him and especially her differently.  She genuinely loves him and it’s a love that was created by God.  It doesn’t matter to either one of them that they may not technically be blood related and all Jayden knows is that Emory has been in her life since she can remember.

I’m thankful that Emory loves Jayden the way he does and now that Dakotah (my other granddaughter) is here, she will also get to know him as “Papa” as she gets older.

I am not oblivious to the fact that when you mix families you have problems as our family has had its share but this post is not about all the problems that come with mixing families.

God expects us (humans) to love each other just this way.  We may not all technically be related by our standards, but we are all God’s children just the same.  Imagine the stress in my family’s life if Emory had decided not to love her the way he does.  I know it happens all around us everyday because I’ve seen it.

Loving another person with a true heart is a good choice to make in your life.  It has the potential to make a difference in your life and the life of the person you choose to love.



11 comments on “There Doesn’t Have to be a Difference. It’s a Choice.

  1. Brandy Smith says:

    I love this story! I’m so happy you are finally happy!!!!!

  2. aver1 says:

    as you already know,love is a choice. and,it is always the right one!

    • kathylashley says:

      You couldn’t be more right! It is a strong essence of our being and something that everyone desires in their life. God instilled that in us so that we can share it with others.

  3. jenlutar says:

    This is a beautiful story of love .. pure and utter love!! Not too many men can step up to the plate like that, and no offence to any of them, it’s not an easy transition blending families, I’ve been there. Good on him, for doing what he did for both your granddaughter!! Your story in inspiring. I will be following your blog, as it’s very enlightning 😉 Take Care. Jen

    • kathylashley says:

      Thanks so much Jen for the beautiful comments and following my blog! My granddaughters certainly are blessed! Emory’s a good man and its been amazing to watch this process. It just reaffirms to me God’s love his children! Again, thanks for stopping by!

  4. Yvonne says:

    What a beautiful story! It makes me smile to read how happy you are.

  5. “There Doesnt Have to be a Difference. Its a Choice.
    kathy lashley” was truly enjoyable and instructive!
    In the present day world that is quite hard to accomplish.
    Thanks a lot, Werner

  6. kathylashley says:

    Thanks Werner and you are so right. It is a difficult thing in today’s society but in our house we take great strides to keep it flowing smoothly. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Sorry about the above comment. I think my computer was experiencing some technical difficulties.

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