The Game of Tag Question

I haven’t played tag since I was a kid so I’m guessing this is a grown up version of tag.  It’s been a few days since Bird @ Everyone Has a Story asked me to play so here it goes…….

Photo Credit:  Microsoft Office

Tag – you’re it!’ – The rules:

You must post these rules.

 Answer the question the “tagger” listed for you in their post,

  1. And create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
  2. Choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
  3. Let each blogger know that you have tagged them.

Bird’s question for me was,  “If you could change just one thing about the American public school system, what would it be?”

I’ve only been in the schools talking about abstinence for the past year, so “intellectually”, I don’t know enough of the politics within the school system to really give an educated answer.  Having said that, I’ve decided to answer the question showing my readers some of the questions I get asked by students during a small group meeting outside the school environment.

If I am able to speak to a group of teenagers more than once then before ending my first session with them, I tell them they can have a blank index card to write a question they want me to answer on my next visit.  It’s no surprise that several hands go in the air to receive a card but only after promising anonymity.

Once I am home, I take the cards out and begin reading each one carefully.  Some make me laugh but most of them bring tears to my eyes knowing these precious children need something to believe in.  After many prayers, lots of research and conversations with a minister/colleague of mine at Women’s Hope Medical Clinic, I put together some information for these hurting children.  So here are only a FEW of the questions…..

  1. Can you help me make goals and plans for my life?
  2. How can I get over being raped?
  3. How can I make my dreams come true living in foster care?
  4. How and when do I tell a boy I don’t want to have sex?
  5. My parents can’t afford college.  How can I go if I can’t pay for it?
  6. I heard it was safer to have sex in the water.  Is that true?

There are so many other questions I could list and I just might do that in another blog (thanks for the idea Bird!).  So, what should we be teaching in the school systems?  I don’t know if I have the right answer but what I do know is that a huge problem exists and I only reach a small percentage of these children.  Should the schools be teaching the answer to these questions?  Yes to some of them, but maybe parents should teach their children the answers to ALL of them.  Can’t parents answers all the above questions?  We (parents) say we don’t want the school teaching our children about certain issues, yet there’s a reason why I get asked these questions.

To get back to the game, here are the following fellow bloggers and I would love to hear from.

  1. LuckyLeo – At what point in your life did you know you were known as “edgy” and what does that look like?
  2. Coach Sue – How many clients do you usually have at one time?
  3. Laura Dickey – Other than writing, where is another avenue your creative energy flows?
  4. Sherry – What is the toughest question to answer by a client at Women’s Hope Medical Clinic?
  5. ks ballou – What’s the farthest you have traveled to take one of your posted pictures?
  6. Even a Girl Like Me – What steps have you taken to improve on the “people pleasing” issue?  (I have the same problem)
  7. MomMeetsBlog – How’s those tweezers been treating you lately?

Please excuse me from the other 4.  For now 7 will just have to do.  I had a great time answering my question and hope you will too!


What Did You Just Ask Me?

  I’m not allowed to talk about God.  I can’t tell them He is the real answer to leading a fulfilled life.  I can’t tell them that although people here on earth will let us down, we serve a God whose love is never-ending.  If I did, I would be asked to leave and never get invited back.  Where in the United States are we not allowed to talk about God?  It’s in the school system.  So what did I do when asked a question about a sensitive subject?

For the last year or so, I’ve been teaching abstinence only and healthy relationships to youth groups around my community and to junior high students within our county school system. Some say it’s a miracle for Women’s Hope Medical Clinic being allowed in the schools at all.  Maybe it’s because we are in the deep south where it is still acceptable to have prayer before a football game or graduation, but I’d like to think it’s because God is in control and desires for His children to know the truth.  God wants us to show these young people that they can have hope.

While I can’t bring the subject of God up, it doesn’t mean I can’t respond if someone says something like, “The Bible says that you shouldn’t have sex before marriage.”  I will agree with the student but really I am the facilitator of this conversation and the students are the ones doing the talking.  Again, God is doing His work and I’m just the tool in which it’s done.

During one class  as I explained some of the consequences of sex before marriage, I get the question, “What is an abortion?”  I simply answer, “It’s when someone decides for the baby to come out before it’s ready.”  I can see their heads shaking as they ponder over my answer but I wasn’t expecting the next question, especially coming from the teacher when he asked, “Do you think abortion is murder?”  I decided to act like Jesus and speak in a parable and just told a story.  I told them of an experience I had many years ago while working as a sonographer.  I spoke of a patient needing an amniocentesis and my job entailed directing the physician to a “good pocket of fluid”.  A perfect site is found and I could see the needle with the ultrasound (you don’t want the needle near the baby’s head or back).  While monitoring this procedure, the baby kicked and hit the needle with its foot.  The baby started moving around almost in a frantic like state.  The doctor quickly pulled the needle back flush with the uterus until the baby calmed down (which was about 5 minutes) and once the baby settled down, we resumed the procedure.  That’s where I ended the story.

I believe in self-discovery.  I could have stood up there and given those students an answer but feel lessons are better learned if a person can figure it on their own and not someone telling them what to think.  I didn’t want them to mourn for the baby that is gone and then hate the mother for deciding to end the pregnancy.  Jesus loves both the mother and baby equally and my job is to give those students tools on how to make good decisions for their lives, not condemn another person for their choices.

The students seemed satisfied with the answer and many made remarks of their opinion of the situation which is exactly what I wanted to happen.  I’m thankful to God for bringing that story to my mind so quickly because it’s probably been over 15 years ago since it happened but that’s how much He loves us.  He had already prepared me for that day, I just didn’t know it.